- Rick Warren
Thursday, 24 October 2013
Tuesday, 22 October 2013
Amazing Grace
This was one of the hymns I have been singing recently
"Until God opens the next door, praise Him in the hallway" - Nicky Gumbel
My hope secures in His Word.
"Until God opens the next door, praise Him in the hallway" - Nicky Gumbel
I prayed that when I finish my journey, God opened up my eyes: "Was blind, but NOW I see."378. Amazing Grace
Text: John Newton; st 6 anon.
Music: 19th cent. USA melody; harm. by Edwin O. Excell
Tune: ---, Meter: CM
1. Amazing grace! How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now am found; was blind, but now I see.
2. 'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
and grace my fears relieved;
how precious did that grace appear
the hour I first believed.
His grace lets me overcome my fears, I learn to appreciate His grace even more.
3. Through many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come;
'tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
and grace will lead me home.
I walked on this journey only because of His Grace I'd reached this point, I had no plan of turning back. I just deeply prayed that by the very same grace of His, He will lead me HOME.
4. The Lord has promised good to me,
his word my hope secures;
he will my shield and portion be,
as long as life endures.
This one promise I never let go: The Lord has promised good to me! (Jer 29:11). My hope secures in His Word.
5. Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
and mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
a life of joy and peace.
My flesh and heart will fail me, but I know I will be living a life of joy and peace because I'm walking God's will.6. When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we first begun.
A Journey of Obedience and Faithfulness
I have been writing this draft since last month,
There are some reasons that I posted this just now :D
A vision!
This time, I was inspired to picture myself as a kid, doing all my activities normally...
Until one day, He told me, "Hey, I got a surprise for you."
"What surprise? No, it's okay, I'm perfectly fine with everything, I can't even thank You enough for it."
"Just follow Me."
And He put a blindfold on me, even if I said that I was okay and wouldn't ask for more.
He held my hands and led my way, He knew the direction, while I was still wondering where I would be brought to.
This turned out to be a pretty long journey to walk, some might take days, months, years for some people.
For me, months...
During the beginning of the journey, the one thing called obedience was very easy to do. I was excited, having high hopes, I didn't feel tired of walking and everything was just beautiful at the beginning.
Days after days had passed and I started to wonder,
"Hey God, why haven't we reached our destination yet? Why don't I feel that we are getting any closer to the place You've told me?"
"Be patient..."
A simple sentence that has a really deep meaning behind it
(3 Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
4 Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. - Psalm 37:3-4)
Steps after steps, I began to fall down sometimes, I felt the obstacles here and there, an uncomfortable atmosphere around me, and hear that people had stopped going on this direction. But, I couldn't see anything at all, I did not know what was happening.
I asked and kept asking "Is it the correct path? Can we just quit this journey and go back home?"
You know, I just found out that keep asking to "go back" indicates that you are being discouraged. I was, I really was.
He said, "Keep on walking"
(5 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
6 And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. - Psalm 37:5-7)
I honestly admitted that I wanted to question His answers, I was starting to lose heart and faint, I hated this situation, but I didn't let my hands go of His.
I kept on walking...
Many times I felt too tired to hold on
Many times I was overwhelmed with fears
Many times I doubted that I would ever reach there
and many times, I was brought down on my knees in prayers, only to take a break, and ask for His joy and peace to fill my heart.
I felt like walking through a deep valley.
(4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. - Psalm 23:4)
Then I reached a point where I bumped into a wall, a really high wall, many people kept saying that it was the end of the journey.
You know what, to quit was my biggest prayer before I walked on this journey because I simply didn't want to meet a dead end. I was sort of 'being led' to continue this journey, and here I was, in front of a high wall.
My hopes were shattered, I couldn't even think of any good endings of this journey.
I wanted to express my vexation, I wanted to defend myself, yea I was sort of being angry. But He told me to calm myself down.
(2 I was dumb with silence, I held my peace, even from good; and my sorrow was stirred. - Psalm 39:2)
Still, weirdly He asked me to humble myself even more and stop thinking about those things. "Be still, be quiet and trust in me. It is not over yet, let's start walking again."
So, I left my anger and anxiety behind, I forsook and forgot about it. Nothing good's gonna come out by keeping it.
(9 I was dumb, I opened not my mouth; because thou didst it. - Psalm 39:9)
Nevertheless, my heart cried out to Him, "God, what do You want me to do? Continuing this walk? I've accepted the fact that I might have met a dead end. My only prayer is to be strong in moving on, that's ALL I need. Isn't this the dead end? EVERYONES's already gone back and been telling us to do the same, isn't it stupid to go on? I am being avoided and forgotten anyway."
(9 Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly.
10 For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed.
11 I was a reproach among all mine enemies, but especially among my neighbours, and a fear to mine acquaintance: they that did see me without fled from me.
12 I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel. - Psalm 31:9-12)
"No, you know it is not over yet."
Then I brought myself to start walking again.
Every single day I woke up, I always prayed for more strength, courage, patience and gentleness.
I was tempted to figure out everything and strategize an "after-journey" plan, but I got frustrated even more, that was too much for me right now so I left everything to His mighty hands.
I just know one thing for sure, I know the voice of my Sheperd!
My part is to walk obediently and joyfully, knowing that He is with me and He has something for me.
"I'm done fighting, I'm finally letting go"
and I still walked on the road He had showed me, with my eyes focused solely on Him.
(1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. - Psalm 23: 1-3)
1st of October, He said to me: "You know, one day you will be thankful for what you are doing right now."
I, being freed from my own thoughts, was finally able to say: "Hey G! Whatever Your will, whatever the result is, I will still love You, I've fallen for You since a long time ago. You're the One who always stands beside me even when I'm all alone. I love You and I trust in You."
Well, Christ is enough and that's what matters most :)
(22 For I said in my haste, I am cut off from before thine eyes: nevertheless thou heardest the voice of my supplications when I cried unto thee. - Psalm 31:22)
How do I know that God is with me?
Because:
the fears I felt,
the tears I shed at nights,
the doubts I had,
the failures I faced,
and even the rejection I got are all real,
certainly His peace and love that fill my life abundantly.
(13 As one whom his mother comforts, so will I comfort you; - Isaiah 66:13a)
Unless he obeys, a man cannot believe ~ Bonhoeffer
I learn how to walk really obediently, although without understanding the reason why I should keep on walking.
I'm just doing what I've been told.
Maybe, I learn to really BELIEVE.
I love God more than my self-esteem, dreams, hopes, feelings or even myself.
Trust me, I wouldn't want and wouldn't be able to lower myself to this extent without Him.
This is literally my everything, my life as a burnt offering.
(1 I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me.
2 In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted.
3 I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. Selah. - Psalm 77:1-3)
There are some reasons that I posted this just now :D
A vision!
This time, I was inspired to picture myself as a kid, doing all my activities normally...
Until one day, He told me, "Hey, I got a surprise for you."
"What surprise? No, it's okay, I'm perfectly fine with everything, I can't even thank You enough for it."
"Just follow Me."
And He put a blindfold on me, even if I said that I was okay and wouldn't ask for more.
He held my hands and led my way, He knew the direction, while I was still wondering where I would be brought to.
This turned out to be a pretty long journey to walk, some might take days, months, years for some people.
For me, months...
During the beginning of the journey, the one thing called obedience was very easy to do. I was excited, having high hopes, I didn't feel tired of walking and everything was just beautiful at the beginning.
Days after days had passed and I started to wonder,
"Hey God, why haven't we reached our destination yet? Why don't I feel that we are getting any closer to the place You've told me?"
"Be patient..."
A simple sentence that has a really deep meaning behind it
(3 Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
4 Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. - Psalm 37:3-4)
Steps after steps, I began to fall down sometimes, I felt the obstacles here and there, an uncomfortable atmosphere around me, and hear that people had stopped going on this direction. But, I couldn't see anything at all, I did not know what was happening.
I asked and kept asking "Is it the correct path? Can we just quit this journey and go back home?"
You know, I just found out that keep asking to "go back" indicates that you are being discouraged. I was, I really was.
He said, "Keep on walking"
(5 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
6 And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. - Psalm 37:5-7)
I honestly admitted that I wanted to question His answers, I was starting to lose heart and faint, I hated this situation, but I didn't let my hands go of His.
I kept on walking...
Many times I felt too tired to hold on
Many times I was overwhelmed with fears
Many times I doubted that I would ever reach there
and many times, I was brought down on my knees in prayers, only to take a break, and ask for His joy and peace to fill my heart.
I felt like walking through a deep valley.
(4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. - Psalm 23:4)
Then I reached a point where I bumped into a wall, a really high wall, many people kept saying that it was the end of the journey.
You know what, to quit was my biggest prayer before I walked on this journey because I simply didn't want to meet a dead end. I was sort of 'being led' to continue this journey, and here I was, in front of a high wall.
My hopes were shattered, I couldn't even think of any good endings of this journey.
I wanted to express my vexation, I wanted to defend myself, yea I was sort of being angry. But He told me to calm myself down.
(8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. -Psalm 37:8)
I wanted to speak up upon 'unfairness' I experienced, because I just felt like a dumb.(2 I was dumb with silence, I held my peace, even from good; and my sorrow was stirred. - Psalm 39:2)
Still, weirdly He asked me to humble myself even more and stop thinking about those things. "Be still, be quiet and trust in me. It is not over yet, let's start walking again."
So, I left my anger and anxiety behind, I forsook and forgot about it. Nothing good's gonna come out by keeping it.
(9 I was dumb, I opened not my mouth; because thou didst it. - Psalm 39:9)
Nevertheless, my heart cried out to Him, "God, what do You want me to do? Continuing this walk? I've accepted the fact that I might have met a dead end. My only prayer is to be strong in moving on, that's ALL I need. Isn't this the dead end? EVERYONES's already gone back and been telling us to do the same, isn't it stupid to go on? I am being avoided and forgotten anyway."
(9 Have mercy upon me, O Lord, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly.
10 For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed.
11 I was a reproach among all mine enemies, but especially among my neighbours, and a fear to mine acquaintance: they that did see me without fled from me.
12 I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel. - Psalm 31:9-12)
"No, you know it is not over yet."
Then I brought myself to start walking again.
Every single day I woke up, I always prayed for more strength, courage, patience and gentleness.
I was tempted to figure out everything and strategize an "after-journey" plan, but I got frustrated even more, that was too much for me right now so I left everything to His mighty hands.
I just know one thing for sure, I know the voice of my Sheperd!
My part is to walk obediently and joyfully, knowing that He is with me and He has something for me.
"I'm done fighting, I'm finally letting go"
and I still walked on the road He had showed me, with my eyes focused solely on Him.
(1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. - Psalm 23: 1-3)
1st of October, He said to me: "You know, one day you will be thankful for what you are doing right now."
I, being freed from my own thoughts, was finally able to say: "Hey G! Whatever Your will, whatever the result is, I will still love You, I've fallen for You since a long time ago. You're the One who always stands beside me even when I'm all alone. I love You and I trust in You."
Well, Christ is enough and that's what matters most :)
(22 For I said in my haste, I am cut off from before thine eyes: nevertheless thou heardest the voice of my supplications when I cried unto thee. - Psalm 31:22)
How do I know that God is with me?
Because:
the fears I felt,
the tears I shed at nights,
the doubts I had,
the failures I faced,
and even the rejection I got are all real,
certainly His peace and love that fill my life abundantly.
(13 As one whom his mother comforts, so will I comfort you; - Isaiah 66:13a)
Unless he obeys, a man cannot believe ~ Bonhoeffer
I learn how to walk really obediently, although without understanding the reason why I should keep on walking.
I'm just doing what I've been told.
Maybe, I learn to really BELIEVE.
I love God more than my self-esteem, dreams, hopes, feelings or even myself.
Trust me, I wouldn't want and wouldn't be able to lower myself to this extent without Him.
This is literally my everything, my life as a burnt offering.
(1 I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me.
2 In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted.
3 I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. Selah. - Psalm 77:1-3)
I have many stuffs to work on, I'm still praying everyday only to ask for strength to continue walking.
My situation was somehow described by this song, HELP ME FIND IT - Sidewalk Prophets
A powerful song!
As I said at Youth Service, I can't promise you anything, I just trust that GOD IS FAITHFUL
and now I'm learning furthermore to rest in the faithfulness of God.
I'm learning to stop doubting+worrying and wait for Him, because He's never failed before.
(114 Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope in thy word. - Psalm 119:114)
(114 Thou art my hiding place and my shield: I hope in thy word. - Psalm 119:114)
Last thing, a really clear picture of this vision of mine is that:
When the time has come and I've reached the end of my journey, He takes off my blindfold and lets me see what's there waiting for me. I'm simply brought down on my knees again, and in awe I say: "Thank You, Father. I'm really thankful for THIS (whatever it is)."
When the time has come and I've reached the end of my journey, He takes off my blindfold and lets me see what's there waiting for me. I'm simply brought down on my knees again, and in awe I say: "Thank You, Father. I'm really thankful for THIS (whatever it is)."
I wanted to know about it, but I had stopped asking Him, for I know that obedience is much better than understanding. It's not that He does not have intention to reply my questions, but it's just not the time yet.
I've made sure that I did not ask Him to 'break me and use me for His purpose', I'm weak, instead of feeling 'that' tough to pray for such prayer.
Yet, I'm joyful because in every turn of the road, He's there, waiting for me and encouraging me all the time.
I do everything, remain faithful, and press on forward based on conviction I received, that's all I know.
(This is my comfort in my affliction: for your word has quickened me. - Psalm 119:50)
I've made sure that I did not ask Him to 'break me and use me for His purpose', I'm weak, instead of feeling 'that' tough to pray for such prayer.
Yet, I'm joyful because in every turn of the road, He's there, waiting for me and encouraging me all the time.
I do everything, remain faithful, and press on forward based on conviction I received, that's all I know.
(This is my comfort in my affliction: for your word has quickened me. - Psalm 119:50)
And in the end, I will be grateful because I finish this race just like how He wants me to.
You may not understand today or tomorrow, but eventually God will reveal why you went through everything you did. - Jarrid Wilson
Faithfulness involves character, discipline & determination. It makes choices from a base of conviction, not convenience! - Brian Houston
So, turn your eyes upon Jesus and stay faithful, friends... Stay faithful :)
You may not understand today or tomorrow, but eventually God will reveal why you went through everything you did. - Jarrid Wilson
Faithfulness involves character, discipline & determination. It makes choices from a base of conviction, not convenience! - Brian Houston
So, turn your eyes upon Jesus and stay faithful, friends... Stay faithful :)
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say: "It is well, it is well with my soul"
Thursday, 26 September 2013
HELP ME FIND IT - Sidewalk Prophets
I don’t know where to go from here
It all used to seem so clear
I’m finding I can’t do this on my own
I don’t know where to go from here
As long as I know that You are near
I’m done fighting
I’m finally letting go
I will trust in You
You’ve never failed before
I will trust in You
If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it
I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt
You give me grace
For every step I’ve never been alone
Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You’ve never let me go
I will wait for You
You’ve never failed before
I will wait for You
I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again)
Have Your way my King (I give my all to You)
I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see)
‘Cause You are all I need
Sunday, 1 September 2013
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Friday, 23 August 2013
Blessing Through a Chance
I've been doing well recently, thank you for asking hahaha
It turns out that this semester is going to be unexpected one
Simple example, for one of our subjects, we are required to build a robot, and my friend without my knowing, telling the supervisor that we will register for PRIDE competition (robotic competition), I just found out after the supervisor asked me about registeration email and stuffs (I was like: WHAAD, Seriously, dude!??). Hope we can accomplish everything by the end of semester.
Okay, anywayy...
Last time I realized that I needed to focus on some things
However, this year I got a chance to have futsal practise, which I've been longing since long time ago. The practise schedule matches my timetable (previously I couldn't play anymore due to important things to do during weekends) and moreoever it is subsidized, thanks to Monash (or Shaf?) and Coach Kevin Yee.
(Tuhan tau banget gua sering bokek :') ).
Never expected this though
I was introduced to Monash Futsal Captain: Shaf, by Vedo Irawan, a friend of mine whom I met when I was actively playing futsal, then I joined their games several times because their GK just graduated and also introduced to Kevin (whom Valiant told me about. Last year, we played against Kevin's team, RG during a Futsal Competition at Ferro. Of course we lost #justsaying hahaha).
He's a really good coach, kind of fatherly, that's what makes me respect him more.
I don't know why, but the moment is 'just nice' :D
Thank You for the chance, I started to come to their practises, learnt a lot of new things and met many talented people, the ones I met recently or even ones who are famous since long time ago (like Zec, Hassan, RG players).
I know I'm kind of clumsy playing on the rubber floor, my feet often get stuck here and there, messing up my timing every time hahaha.
Nevertheless, futsal is fun :P
When I looked back, there was a time when my friends got intimidated by my determination to improve (too much is a bad thing, though), but this time I have a great circumstance where I need to improve myself and that's all. I don't have to think of this and that, considering this and that, it's simply: Playing futsal.
Sounds fun eh? It sure is :D
Yea, I'm still focusing myself on my service, calling and study in Malaysia, and during my spare time, I play futsal with these talented young players and Kevin. It's really such a pleasure.
Thank You!
It turns out that this semester is going to be unexpected one
Simple example, for one of our subjects, we are required to build a robot, and my friend without my knowing, telling the supervisor that we will register for PRIDE competition (robotic competition), I just found out after the supervisor asked me about registeration email and stuffs (I was like: WHAAD, Seriously, dude!??). Hope we can accomplish everything by the end of semester.
Okay, anywayy...
Last time I realized that I needed to focus on some things
However, this year I got a chance to have futsal practise, which I've been longing since long time ago. The practise schedule matches my timetable (previously I couldn't play anymore due to important things to do during weekends) and moreoever it is subsidized, thanks to Monash (or Shaf?) and Coach Kevin Yee.
(Tuhan tau banget gua sering bokek :') ).
Never expected this though
I was introduced to Monash Futsal Captain: Shaf, by Vedo Irawan, a friend of mine whom I met when I was actively playing futsal, then I joined their games several times because their GK just graduated and also introduced to Kevin (whom Valiant told me about. Last year, we played against Kevin's team, RG during a Futsal Competition at Ferro. Of course we lost #justsaying hahaha).
He's a really good coach, kind of fatherly, that's what makes me respect him more.
I don't know why, but the moment is 'just nice' :D
Thank You for the chance, I started to come to their practises, learnt a lot of new things and met many talented people, the ones I met recently or even ones who are famous since long time ago (like Zec, Hassan, RG players).
I know I'm kind of clumsy playing on the rubber floor, my feet often get stuck here and there, messing up my timing every time hahaha.
Nevertheless, futsal is fun :P
When I looked back, there was a time when my friends got intimidated by my determination to improve (too much is a bad thing, though), but this time I have a great circumstance where I need to improve myself and that's all. I don't have to think of this and that, considering this and that, it's simply: Playing futsal.
Sounds fun eh? It sure is :D
Yea, I'm still focusing myself on my service, calling and study in Malaysia, and during my spare time, I play futsal with these talented young players and Kevin. It's really such a pleasure.
Thank You!
Thursday, 25 July 2013
On The Box: Words of Comfort: Becoming an Atheist
On The Box: Words of Comfort: Becoming an Atheist: There are two main hard and fast rules for anyone who would like to become an atheist. If you are tempted, beware. It's easy to take...
Tuesday, 25 June 2013
Heyy 2013
This is not a late post about New Year
I know I'm always a bit behind the development, but by no means this time haha
As I wrote previously, about people who sharpened me more and more
I would like to give another big thanks for them, I appreciate their faithfulness in accompanying me
And this post is about more personal things :P
In this 2013, the more I can see that I can be rather annoying for some personal issues
I can still remember how until 2009, I kept suppressing my emotions and became a really mediocre person
Even in 2010, I literally ask my mentor, how to express a certain feeling (that I later recognized as sadness) hahaha.
It does sound weird, but well, I'm not that expressive as I might seem you know
I learn to become more of myself, as how God has designed me to be
Even today, I'm still learning
You know, I became a close friend of certain someone this year (I'm not ignoring my best friends, fresh comms and families, you guys do a really good job in staying close with me haha, but this time let me express my gratitude more toward this person)
Setelah gua kenal dekat sama dia, semakin keliatan gua itu nyebelin di sisi mana2 aja, like seriously? I don't even know this part of me.
Berantem? It's common thing
Tapi biasanya gua berantem karena urusan2 serius: pelayanan, tugas, tim karena beda pendapat, penyesuaian visi misi, menyesuaikan antara plan dan keadaan dan alasan2 'keren' lainnya.
Tahun ini sangat2 berbeda dan bikin shock, gua bisa berantem karena personal feeling
Biasanya gua tahan, bawa dalam doa n beres (intinya jadikan sebagai bahan personal gua dan Tuhan deh), kali ini herannya ga bisa lho :s
Jelas, semakin keliatan harus dipertajam di mana2 aja
You know what, I think it really does take special someone/people to deal with this kind of side of mine
One day God told me: "Son, I want you to be happy". I was flattered and happy, but I was also questioning "what kind of happiness do You mean?". Last sunday, Ps. Julian Foe conveyed a powerful message to me about : Happily incompatible!
We have so many incompatibiities, but I think that's the art of God's love
I was greatly, deeply and largely shaped after I know this person, like how I met you guys
I'm sorry and thank you :D
I'm amazed by God's love :)
I'm sorry and thank you :D
I'm amazed by God's love :)
Hope you are not giving up on us, thank you for being there big time, especially during my life in Malaysia!
God bless you
ps: I'm NOT leaving Malaysia any time soon, so it's NOT a goodbye message, haha!
Thursday, 23 May 2013
New Chapter 23/05/2013
Hey there, so this is about processes I've been going through til today :)
Years have passed and I know that I've grown and I'm still growing
1-2 years ago I was offered a certain responsibility, which was a huge one, (started from a smaller one for sure), yet in doing that, I faced many pressures from many places.
Fulfilling these tasks are not easy, even without them, studying Mechatronics in Monash is never easy since the beginning
But I looked at how God has led me through years of processes, and wow, I'm standing firmer compared to how I did before :)
God never ceases to amaze me!
Through commitments I built with people I love: Fresh Com, Fresh Ministry, ISCF (until last year) etc. I was brought to a long journey that sharpens me very much.
There was times when I felt like I'd fallen and I was just holding a spiky rope to make sure I didn't fall off. I often thought, why I should keep some of these. I'm bleeding because I try to put everything together, maybe it's better if I release my hands, that's not my responsibility (I had this option actually, after consulting with my leaders, and I know noone would blame me for quitting in a good manner).
I kept learning about priorities and commitments, even higher price I should pay, tears-sweat-blood I should shed and often time I was brought down to my knees.
But that's not my point, for everything I pay for Jesus is worth it
Even currently I can't foresee how these services and efforts (ministries, study, cell groups) will turn out to be, I just believe "He has made everything beautiful in its time" (Ecc 3:11a)
Ah, about commitment, through these people I learn so many things I never expected actually, some of them sharpen me really 'harshly' that sometimes I unconsciously tried to run away.
What I mean is not about sharpening process that may cause anger, misunderstanding etc (you may suspect what Kak Tama did to me, but this is not about him :P), it's about them who sharpen me due to their past, their relationship with me, their words, their behaviour, or their lifestyles.
Once Kak Tama told me: "Beruntung ya kamu, dapet anak2 komsel yang baik."
Compared to these "new" commitments I got myself into, I could say that my previous commitments/communities are really good and soft. I'm thankful meeting them, cell group mates who didn't cause too much troubles haha!
I might be hurt here and there, yet I'm still holding on, it is because I can see God's plan for me through this year's processes, this new chapter. There are many aspects of my life that haven't been spotlighted, because it was not the time yet, not it's the time.
I could run away (not an option, just my ego, although noone would blame me either), I could be giving logical reasons, I could use "how do I know that this is my time to do this?"
I just know one thing: God wants me to be faithful in this new level, this sole reason is enough compared with other reasons I could think of to avoid this process.
Like everyone else, many things were unclear at first, and I just walked by faith step by step. As results, I started to know myself even deeper, about my weaknesses unexposed before (I did not even know this aspect of mine), learnt to overcome my feeling, to stay neutral in facing problem (mine or other people's) and see from God's perspectives. I learn all of these through this year's chapter of life ;), but above all else, I'm grateful that I could learn more about God's Heart!
Hey you guys, who sharpen me many times, I thank y'all.
I hope I'm not the only one who learn from our journey together,
and let's keep praying for one another.
God bless :)
Years have passed and I know that I've grown and I'm still growing
1-2 years ago I was offered a certain responsibility, which was a huge one, (started from a smaller one for sure), yet in doing that, I faced many pressures from many places.
Fulfilling these tasks are not easy, even without them, studying Mechatronics in Monash is never easy since the beginning
But I looked at how God has led me through years of processes, and wow, I'm standing firmer compared to how I did before :)
God never ceases to amaze me!
Through commitments I built with people I love: Fresh Com, Fresh Ministry, ISCF (until last year) etc. I was brought to a long journey that sharpens me very much.
There was times when I felt like I'd fallen and I was just holding a spiky rope to make sure I didn't fall off. I often thought, why I should keep some of these. I'm bleeding because I try to put everything together, maybe it's better if I release my hands, that's not my responsibility (I had this option actually, after consulting with my leaders, and I know noone would blame me for quitting in a good manner).
I kept learning about priorities and commitments, even higher price I should pay, tears-sweat-blood I should shed and often time I was brought down to my knees.
But that's not my point, for everything I pay for Jesus is worth it
Even currently I can't foresee how these services and efforts (ministries, study, cell groups) will turn out to be, I just believe "He has made everything beautiful in its time" (Ecc 3:11a)
Ah, about commitment, through these people I learn so many things I never expected actually, some of them sharpen me really 'harshly' that sometimes I unconsciously tried to run away.
What I mean is not about sharpening process that may cause anger, misunderstanding etc (you may suspect what Kak Tama did to me, but this is not about him :P), it's about them who sharpen me due to their past, their relationship with me, their words, their behaviour, or their lifestyles.
Once Kak Tama told me: "Beruntung ya kamu, dapet anak2 komsel yang baik."
Compared to these "new" commitments I got myself into, I could say that my previous commitments/communities are really good and soft. I'm thankful meeting them, cell group mates who didn't cause too much troubles haha!
I might be hurt here and there, yet I'm still holding on, it is because I can see God's plan for me through this year's processes, this new chapter. There are many aspects of my life that haven't been spotlighted, because it was not the time yet, not it's the time.
I could run away (not an option, just my ego, although noone would blame me either), I could be giving logical reasons, I could use "how do I know that this is my time to do this?"
I just know one thing: God wants me to be faithful in this new level, this sole reason is enough compared with other reasons I could think of to avoid this process.
Like everyone else, many things were unclear at first, and I just walked by faith step by step. As results, I started to know myself even deeper, about my weaknesses unexposed before (I did not even know this aspect of mine), learnt to overcome my feeling, to stay neutral in facing problem (mine or other people's) and see from God's perspectives. I learn all of these through this year's chapter of life ;), but above all else, I'm grateful that I could learn more about God's Heart!
Hey you guys, who sharpen me many times, I thank y'all.
I hope I'm not the only one who learn from our journey together,
and let's keep praying for one another.
God bless :)
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