Thus Far the Lord Has Brought Me

Look How He Lifted Me

2015 and I finally accomplished my study in Malaysia

Why is this such a big deal for me?

Well, because every single year is always a fighting for me and my family in many aspects.

I won't be exaggerating if I say it takes faith to go through these 6 years.

Academically, I failed some subjects, underloaded to 3 subjects per semester in order to 'survive', and still struggled each semester. 

Especially the last semester, I really don't get why, but my sensor got burnt accidentally in week 11 which might cause my final year project to fail, 1 quiz + 2 last assignments in week 12, FYP presentation in week 13, and the finisher was done by final exams for two days straight in the first two days of week 14.

I wouldn't say that God was the One who did my last-and-the-hardest-paper on Tuesday, because if it was so, my paper would lead my examiner to repentance when he read it. But I truly believe, when I fell sick just the day before the first paper, it was God who strengthened me physically and morally to keep on studying and then finally finish em all.

It's funny though, how doubt came knocking on my door like a regular customer when I was waiting for my results to be released. There were many confirmations I received from my devotional time and even on the day of the result announcement, Elevation Worship posted something like this:
"God has already worked out what you're worried about." - Pastor Steven Furtick"

Yes, I felt nervous thinking of my results, but I believed when I've given my best, the next thing I ought to do is let God do the rest. So, I made my waiting time into working time.
I met with many people, served God by doing what I can do: Being the hospitality team for our church's guest speakers, helping my friends who moved out to another place, etc. Truly, I'm still grateful that I did so, I did not waste my time worrying what God has worked out.

"I don't worry, I worship" - Steven Furtick

Glad that I did the latter.

I Went After It

1 Sam 17:34-35 (ESV)

But David said to Saul, “Your servant used to keep sheep for his father. And when there came a lion, or a bear, and took a lamb from the flock,
I went after him and struck him and delivered it out of his mouth. And if he arose against me, I caught him by his beard and struck him and killed him.

Pastor Steven said: "That's what I hope people will say about me as a preacher, "that boy went after it, that boy preached till he couldn't preach anymore, that boy left it all out there in the pulpit, he went after it""

So here's my version:
I might get too hyped when worshipping God on-stage that I was off pitch many times, but I went after it.
I'm not the best singer people would've met in church, but, I still went after it. I keep on worshipping God no matter where I am.
I often thought too much until my goalkeeping was pretty clumsy sometimes, but I went after it.
I got too emotional when leading prayers that I have these slips of tongue every once in a while, but I went after it.

I want people not to see as a perfectly fine person because I'm not, but I really want that they see me as someone who "goes after it".
I'mma give my best shots each time my friends and I spend time together.
I'mma give my best to bring out the best in people around me.

What I do is not perfect, but I go after it.

I Have Nothing to Prove, Only One to Please

People asked me whether or not I'd finished my work in Malaysia.

I said "yes, absolutely"

Not only I finished my part, I'd prepared my friends to continue our works in FGCC Malaysia and even how to prepare their successors.

Back then, people often said my style of leading people is too harsh, some questioned my values, while some doubted my methods and the other assumed things- without really knowing what really happened between me and my friends or mentees.

I'm not saying that we don't have to improve and evaluate ourselves, it's mere arrogance, but beside having the right response in this kind of season, I also believe we ought to stay true to what God has called us to do, and I know that I have this holy discontent about young leaders.

I believe everyone is a leader in their own respective area. So that is why I devote myself into mentorship, learning more about it and being hated because of it.

While I had indeed made some wrong decisions previously, I'm also getting better at making right decisions. That is called growing and maturing, I believe.

Although some things I do will cause oppositions, I will not change my stand.

Even if I was given a chance to go back to the past, I would still choose and do the same things over and over again. 

Even if it means to be jeered at for doing it, I still will do the same thing.

Why?

Maybe because I know that my audience is not you, but God.

Through all these experiences, I learnt what they mean by giving up your right to be justified.

Real life situations, my friends heard things from other people about certain issues. I don't know which translation version they used, but I strongly believe if I was invited to their discussion, their stories would be a little bit different even if I did not speak any words. 

I hope you get what I mean.

Too often we try and even put our lives into justifying ourselves, to the extent that we don't have the chance to experience how God justifies us.

And too often we play the victim, and y'know, everybody can play the victim, it's easy.
I refused to have the victim mentality by explaining the real situations to just everybody.
Some people might not even be interested in the facts anyway.
It is less likely that people will clear up the misunderstandings they have caused and rarely people talk about others' strengths instead of weaknesses.

Let me put this in another way, if your gossipers won't bother clean up their mess, why should you, clean up their mess by trying to explain and prove everything you have done every single time? 

Ain't it tiring, peeps?

Romans 8:37 (ESV)
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

How can we become 'more than conquerors' if we let other people's voice define our reality?
Shouldn't we let God's Word define our reality?
Do not be a slave of people's opinions.
You have one true Master, it is God, not you yourself and certainly not the gossip.
Whether or not you read your Bible will determine your life.

This is necessary, however, to surround yourself with people who will get you closer to God, even if it means sometimes they need to support your decisions and the other time they rebuke you for your (pre or post) bad decisions, yet they still accept you just as you are.
Be transparent with them.

You can only grow in community, make sure your community is healthy not only for your happiness, but your inner man.

"You cannot grow in isolation. You can only grow in community." - A. R. Bernard

If something you have done is right, I believe God will make it right and clear the misunderstanding in front of people.
Otherwise, He won't (and then sends people to remind or rebuke you).
He might justify it later in this world or maybe in the later world, because everyone would be responsible for everything they have done and said.
However, even if He doesn't, it means the misunderstanding itself is not a big deal.
Simple!

Phil 3:15 (ESV)
Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.

I believe what Phil 3:15 says and you know what? 

Your actions reflect your beliefs.
That's why I act this way, because it reflects what I believe or especially Whom I have believed.

I have nothing to prove and only One to please

So Long, Malaysia

I thank God for my community, FGCC Malaysia.

I am a product of community, it doesn't take miraculous event to help me be an Indra Tan, it doesn't take a wonderful activity, or complicated strategy. 

God works on me tremendously through my community.

and especially my mentors: Ko Eddy Chang, Kak Tama Pakpahan and Kak Dicky for your impacts in my life, your relentless supports, prayers, and constructive rebukes. 

Your lives influence me to be the person I am right now.

  

  

Thank you Malaysia for this 6-year experience.
It has been a great journey.

I am moving on to the next stage.

Soredewa mata!

22, Single, Greater

Hola everyone, it's been my usual tradition to post something after my birthday just to say, "yes it's been a week, and you might've missed it". I come from a family that doesn't celebrate birthdays much, so my birthday was pretty much the same as my normal days. (the last time  my sister and I tried to organise a surprise birthday party for mom, it almost put me into an argument with dad *true story)

I've posted on my path, but...
I thank y'all for your words of encouragement, your thoughts and even for your gifts that soon to be delivered *muahahaha (assuming they were sincere).
I don't know why I thanked you sarcastically, but maybe it's because now I'm in Palembang right now where people talk like this all the time.

Arriving in Palembang right before Christmas 2014 gave me a chance to join Gereja Mawar Sharon (Rose of Sharon Church) Lighthouse's Christmas Celebration: Precious Moment.
The lead Pastor, ko Maxi Eduard Lonta, who spoke as that day's preacher ministered a really anti-mainstream message of Jesus Christ.

Rather than speaking the typical 'heart-warming' message of Christmas, he spoke the message of repentance continued with the message of salvation through Jesus Christ.
I saw this preacher got so fired up and shared the gospel, so I was like "preach on, pastor" almost all the time. I can say one thing for sure, this guy preached what God put in his heart.
I said, "I want to see how God uses this church, which is pastored by someone brave enough to speak out the message of repentance boldly" and I pray for it, I really do.

I'm grateful to meet someone who isn't sugar-coating the Word of God at my community.
This opportunity is really helping me to keep holding onto what I believe, as well as to find my own greater calling.
Currently I withdrew myself from my social medias (I'm still using some though, ain't gonna be a shut-in), which resulted me to have more self-control, more time for other useful activities, and even enabled me to reach serenity in living my life, HA!
But seriously, because I check on my news feed less, I become more spiritually and mentally fit when meeting my friends or having a one-on-one session. I think, being absorbed too much into these medias will only cause us to lose our Spirit-driven self control.

Especially when I was struggling in deciding my future career. If I were given a chance to do anything (without any consideration, it is), I would like to answer: "a pastor" or "a preacher".
Coming near to the end of my study in Malaysia, I struggled even harder.
My dad is a businessman and I'm the first child in my family.
It means my parents kinda have an expectation on me to own a business.
After months of praying, finally in January, I let go of my own ego.
Ego, you said?
Yes, because as I said, me being a pastor (in my own version) is egoistic.

Only right after I said to God, "If there is something I learn by not running away from what my parents told me, so be it, God", I saw where God wants to lead me to.
What if there is strength that I need to embrace along my journey?
What if there is a specific advantage God wants me to have by following this plan?
What if God's plan A is something I always refused to even consider?

I was reminded greatly, especially by GMS's fasting movement with the tagline "humility comes before honor".
"Humble yourself, Indra", I told myself.
I'm finding out God's purpose for my life in more specific ways and I would like to write a post about it when it becomes clearer.

Then I started 2015 with a unique circumstance, where we 'celebrated' our New Year in SGH Hospital, as my twin sister collapsed due to partying too much *yea right
We love this girl so much, to the extent that one of us wore a Stitch costume for her.

Jadi ceritanya gua ga ke Batam sendirian.
Anyway, muka Bri sangat menghibur di sini.

Mission Accomplished ya kawan2 :D

Hate me as you want, I'm posting it anyway.
Wellney 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that a brother put on a Stitch onesie for his sister 

Entering the age of 22, I felt like thanking Vedo Irawan for the first Leonis FC jersey he gave to me last year. Same number, eh?

Thank You, Jesus for my 22 years.
I know I've made the best possible choice to believe in You and trust You with my whole life.

One of the most often wishes I got recently was "cepet dapet jodoh ya" while I'm like "nah, not so soon, dude" hahaha.
Not that I don't support the gift of marriage, really, I'm all in for a godly marriage, but I don't agree with how most of us see the gift of singleness.

Truth be told, single is underrated.
There is this trend, or pattern, occur among us to treat singleness as a disability - an incomplete state of life - or even a problem.

"I'm just joking about it"
Okay, it's cool
But doesn't it still treat the gift of singleness wrongly?
It affects our perspective about singleness, much.

1 Corinthians 7:25-27 (ESV)

25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 

26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is.

27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife.

Does it sound like Apostle Paul was against the idea of marriage?

Nah, verse 28,

28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.

So...

It's good with your dream of marrying someone, but don't you know that it's good that you are single too?

Many things have happened to me, but I remain the same on my standpoint about this matter.
I may not be a suitable person to talk about relationships, marriages and stuffs, but let me talk from my own experience in the efforts of setting myself apart for God: Singleness is not a disease. Singleness is gold.
(you may see my 22 years without having dated anyone as my advantage or my disadvantage, your call)

Greater life doesn't occur only when "two become one", there is greater purpose when "one stays as one" as well.

When we say "Christ is enough", then in ALL seasons in our life, He never ceases to be enough, whether you are single or married.

Isn't it the best choice you've ever made to stay single rather than to marry wrong person?
The Bible said it best:

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife - Proverbs 25:24

But y'know what? Rather than marrying wrong person, it is worse to be a wrong person to get married to.
So don't be that kind of person, period.
Become someone whom you want to marry wants to marry.

I know this ain't gonna eliminate your question "when" or "who".

Having this kind of faith - that trusts what God speaks about singleness - won't make all your questions go away.

I believe that faith is not eliminating all the questions that might come up, it is trusting your questions to Someone with the highest authority.

The opposite of faith is not doubt, it’s certainty. - Anne Lamott

Nevertheless, as Pastor Steven declared: It's gonna be worth your while!

So even if there were times I asked "oh really, God?", I ain't rushing, no matter how many people that came and told me to do so (true story). Instead, I'm kind of able to figure out how my older friends feel during this situation.
To remain sanctified, complete in God's love and pure before God, should be our main concern.

I don't want to skip my current season, I'm embracing my season!

Ecclesiastes 3:1

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: