Hello From Guangzhou

大家你好，我是陈建成，终于update我自己的blog

I guess I haven't even learnt Internet slangs here, lol

So what's up everyone!

It feels like ages since I wrote my last post, due to a not-so-smooth-internet-connection-here-in-china reason I was unable (more likely lazy) to write a new post.

BUT since it's almost end of 2015, I tried to write some updates about my current life in Guangzhou, China. My exam is coming near (next week, peeps), and that's exactly when the most random ideas of my life usually come to me.

Coming 2-3 weeks late to GZ due to some personal issues, my mom and I arrived safe and sound on 10th of September 2015. While I once strongly believed that I would not have any problem about Chinese foods, they proved me wrong right on the first 3 days here.

Well, on the fourth day, we finally found out the way how to survive here :')

The next weeks, my dad took turn to visit me and brought me to visit our family at 陆丰 (LuFeng), where his parents originally came from and also to visit some family from my mom's side here at Guangzhou.

My 舅公s, from my dad's mom's side

My 舅舅's family, from mom's mom's side

Happy kid is happy to find good meal in China

Short update concerning my learning process here (as many of you doubt it), I was chosen as a 班长 (class rep) in my class and so far I think I managed quite okay for now. Do you know the feeling like you are finally one of the students who can catch up with the lessons after being so left out during your university life? It's okay, I'm talking to myself.

I did well for my class tests and received a second place in 汉字 writing competition even after all those grammatical errors, I believe it's called God's mercy hahahaha.

So for those who've asked about my development in Chinese language proficiency, I can assure you that I manage to speak considerably wonderful with Chinese children (or better, toddlers) without any problem #terussombong.

Our homeroom teacher loves to give presents if you do well in class tests

K上-1班

Pizza Party, y'all

I know some of y'all have been wondering about the church I attend to in China and how on earth did I manage to join them, doing this and doing that in such a short time.

So, before I actually came to China, I did this little research of "what church I should attend to in China", first of all by asking my seniors, which all of them refer to IFGF Guangzhou. I even asked Ko Eddy about IFGF beforehand and last semester I had a chance to talk with Vania Cristine, a youth leader from IFGF Karawaci.

I believe it's the same as how I build my relationship (be it about my future spouse or particularly my inner-circle friends), I met with the senior pastor of IFGF Guangzhou, Pastor Halim and his wife, ci Mimi to have some conversations and tried to understand what the vision and mission of IFGF GZ itself. Short story, through my long prayer since I was in Malaysia, I believed that God had called me to serve and be planted here.

Pastor Halim's Family

The time was really short until I had my first job to coordinate praise and worship for our retreat with Pastor Daniel Alexander, his wife, Tante Louise Alexander and Pastor Rudy. 

With the guest speakers, pardon my tired face

Pastor Halim and Ci Mimi (+ Ko Feiman) joined us

I love letters

The next week, Susuk Hokky and Ie2 Becca paid me a visit all the way from Batam. They went through such a long journey only to see my condition here (just kidding, they had their own business actually). Thank you for coming :)

Ditraktir makan enak, muahaha

According to my photos' date, two weeks later I met my former Monash engineering friend, Leo Sa (and his girlfriend + their friend) from Beijing.

and also my FIRST MENTEE EVER, Ricky Hadap, also from Beijing, who is now preparing himself to fully assist his dad's company. He came to visit the famous Canton Fair, if any of you is thinking about checking the chances and things like that circling around Chinese industrial world, just register yourself to this event.

Ricky si calon Bos Besar Surabaya, amin!

Leo Sa, calon Bos Underground Besar

The next thing I know, my dad and mom came again to GZ and thus we had some family quality time together to Shenzhen. "Splendid China" in Shenzhen is truly splendid, I'mma bring my future spouse here #justsaying. 

I'm too lazy to post all these many pictures, 算了吧。

Akhirnya bokap gua senyum di foto

Dancersnya cantik2, saudara2...

Speaking of which, my passion for futsal is somewhat there and not there, ha! Through some coincidental matches, our Indonesian friends from Jinan Benbu (Main Campus) gave me a chance to play for them in Jinan Uni's mini soccer tournament. 

Come on, the only time I played soccer after I graduated from senior high school was with ISCF, Nabil's team and Diego Michiels last semester. I don't have any preparation other than that, so this was truly reckless, I thought.

Well, turned out that my friends were so good that we ended up winning the tournament

I then came back to Malaysia for my convocation, meeting my old friends and close friends over there. Even received so many thoughtful gifts and words to accompany my journey in China, I feel so loved. 

Anyone close to me can confirm that I really love sincere and meaningful words, that's why I always keep letters/words sent to me. 

Thank you guys for coming to which they say as "one of one's biggest days" of mine.

#akhirnyalulusjuga

Happy Three Friends

Team Air Jordan, featuring Ko Crist

Ko Eddy Chang is preaching at Fresh Youth

非常感谢你们

Pipinya Charis jadi alasan utama mau diculik ke GZ sama Uncle Indra

I was also privileged to endorse Ozz Vampo's new customized jersey (Black and Green Camo Jersey) here in China, check out my aunt's shots, LOL! #terimakasihieie

Taken at 宝墨园, 广州

My first attempt to be a koko galak yang difoto model

Oh yeah, anyway, IFGF Guangzhou has just celebrated Christmas through a celebration called The Manger. Again, I was privileged to lead the team as the project manager and worship leader (whereas people mistook me for the preacher several times).

I love the team, I love their creativities, I'm inspired by how they give their all, in spite of the lack of sleeps that we had, but more importantly how we cover for each others.

Even Pastor Raymond confirmed our spirit of unity, which I always thank God for.

Kevin Stefano is the man behind this good-looking poster

Our DIY Christmas Tree that fascinated Pastor Raymond

Pastor Raymond from IFGF Surabaya

The Team

IFGF Guangzhou's Christmas Celebration: The Manger

My life here is so exciting, even though it does feel lonely without my close friends, while I believe that there is no better chance to build and enjoy my personal fellowship with Jesus even more, I remembered the past more than I usually did in Malaysia. All of those joyful, sour, bitter, happy, fun, exciting and even heartbreaking experiences.

Sometimes I still wonder why God led me to do some things that I hadn't even found a good reason behind them until now.

I wonder what if that time I made up my mind to believe the facts more than what God had convinced to me, I know it is not something I would be proud of myself doing, but I still think it would've spared me from heartaches and the drama. I would prefer to skip all those mundane and pointless waiting seasons.

And the moment I was about to publish this writing was when Pastor Steven posted something on his Facebook. God really uses this Moncks Corner preacher to bless my life tremendously.

I thought, I wondered, I struggled and many time I'm lost into my deep thoughts, yet thank to God, I don't live my life based on my wondering process, I live based on God's Word. So rest assured, I do not change even with so many question marks I carry until this day. 

Basically, I'm still doing what I have been doing since a long time ago, holding onto the truth, principles and values I've showed to some of you in many different occasions. I keep on keeping on even more devotedly.

Even if I'm going to be hated even more

Even if I'm accused for sharing corrupted values

Even if I'm standing alone

Greatness is always preceded by separation - Steven Furtick

Certainly, I will keep improving, stay humble to admit my mistakes and let people rebuke me, but I'm more determined than ever to finish whatever God has called me to do.

Thanks for staying updated with my news through my IG, Path, Facebook or messaging apps. Appreciate all your care and love.

Until then, guys :)

Thus Far the Lord Has Brought Me

Look How He Lifted Me

2015 and I finally accomplished my study in Malaysia

Why is this such a big deal for me?

Well, because every single year is always a fighting for me and my family in many aspects.

I won't be exaggerating if I say it takes faith to go through these 6 years.

Academically, I failed some subjects, underloaded to 3 subjects per semester in order to 'survive', and still struggled each semester. 

Especially the last semester, I really don't get why, but my sensor got burnt accidentally in week 11 which might cause my final year project to fail, 1 quiz + 2 last assignments in week 12, FYP presentation in week 13, and the finisher was done by final exams for two days straight in the first two days of week 14.

I wouldn't say that God was the One who did my last-and-the-hardest-paper on Tuesday, because if it was so, my paper would lead my examiner to repentance when he read it. But I truly believe, when I fell sick just the day before the first paper, it was God who strengthened me physically and morally to keep on studying and then finally finish em all.

It's funny though, how doubt came knocking on my door like a regular customer when I was waiting for my results to be released. There were many confirmations I received from my devotional time and even on the day of the result announcement, Elevation Worship posted something like this:
"God has already worked out what you're worried about." - Pastor Steven Furtick"

Yes, I felt nervous thinking of my results, but I believed when I've given my best, the next thing I ought to do is let God do the rest. So, I made my waiting time into working time.
I met with many people, served God by doing what I can do: Being the hospitality team for our church's guest speakers, helping my friends who moved out to another place, etc. Truly, I'm still grateful that I did so, I did not waste my time worrying what God has worked out.

"I don't worry, I worship" - Steven Furtick

Glad that I did the latter.

I Went After It

1 Sam 17:34-35 (ESV)

But David said to Saul, “Your servant used to keep sheep for his father. And when there came a lion, or a bear, and took a lamb from the flock,
I went after him and struck him and delivered it out of his mouth. And if he arose against me, I caught him by his beard and struck him and killed him.

Pastor Steven said: "That's what I hope people will say about me as a preacher, "that boy went after it, that boy preached till he couldn't preach anymore, that boy left it all out there in the pulpit, he went after it""

So here's my version:
I might get too hyped when worshipping God on-stage that I was off pitch many times, but I went after it.
I'm not the best singer people would've met in church, but, I still went after it. I keep on worshipping God no matter where I am.
I often thought too much until my goalkeeping was pretty clumsy sometimes, but I went after it.
I got too emotional when leading prayers that I have these slips of tongue every once in a while, but I went after it.

I want people not to see as a perfectly fine person because I'm not, but I really want that they see me as someone who "goes after it".
I'mma give my best shots each time my friends and I spend time together.
I'mma give my best to bring out the best in people around me.

What I do is not perfect, but I go after it.

I Have Nothing to Prove, Only One to Please

People asked me whether or not I'd finished my work in Malaysia.

I said "yes, absolutely"

Not only I finished my part, I'd prepared my friends to continue our works in FGCC Malaysia and even how to prepare their successors.

Back then, people often said my style of leading people is too harsh, some questioned my values, while some doubted my methods and the other assumed things- without really knowing what really happened between me and my friends or mentees.

I'm not saying that we don't have to improve and evaluate ourselves, it's mere arrogance, but beside having the right response in this kind of season, I also believe we ought to stay true to what God has called us to do, and I know that I have this holy discontent about young leaders.

I believe everyone is a leader in their own respective area. So that is why I devote myself into mentorship, learning more about it and being hated because of it.

While I had indeed made some wrong decisions previously, I'm also getting better at making right decisions. That is called growing and maturing, I believe.

Although some things I do will cause oppositions, I will not change my stand.

Even if I was given a chance to go back to the past, I would still choose and do the same things over and over again. 

Even if it means to be jeered at for doing it, I still will do the same thing.

Why?

Maybe because I know that my audience is not you, but God.

Through all these experiences, I learnt what they mean by giving up your right to be justified.

Real life situations, my friends heard things from other people about certain issues. I don't know which translation version they used, but I strongly believe if I was invited to their discussion, their stories would be a little bit different even if I did not speak any words. 

I hope you get what I mean.

Too often we try and even put our lives into justifying ourselves, to the extent that we don't have the chance to experience how God justifies us.

And too often we play the victim, and y'know, everybody can play the victim, it's easy.
I refused to have the victim mentality by explaining the real situations to just everybody.
Some people might not even be interested in the facts anyway.
It is less likely that people will clear up the misunderstandings they have caused and rarely people talk about others' strengths instead of weaknesses.

Let me put this in another way, if your gossipers won't bother clean up their mess, why should you, clean up their mess by trying to explain and prove everything you have done every single time? 

Ain't it tiring, peeps?

Romans 8:37 (ESV)
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

How can we become 'more than conquerors' if we let other people's voice define our reality?
Shouldn't we let God's Word define our reality?
Do not be a slave of people's opinions.
You have one true Master, it is God, not you yourself and certainly not the gossip.
Whether or not you read your Bible will determine your life.

This is necessary, however, to surround yourself with people who will get you closer to God, even if it means sometimes they need to support your decisions and the other time they rebuke you for your (pre or post) bad decisions, yet they still accept you just as you are.
Be transparent with them.

You can only grow in community, make sure your community is healthy not only for your happiness, but your inner man.

"You cannot grow in isolation. You can only grow in community." - A. R. Bernard

If something you have done is right, I believe God will make it right and clear the misunderstanding in front of people.
Otherwise, He won't (and then sends people to remind or rebuke you).
He might justify it later in this world or maybe in the later world, because everyone would be responsible for everything they have done and said.
However, even if He doesn't, it means the misunderstanding itself is not a big deal.
Simple!

Phil 3:15 (ESV)
Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.

I believe what Phil 3:15 says and you know what? 

Your actions reflect your beliefs.
That's why I act this way, because it reflects what I believe or especially Whom I have believed.

I have nothing to prove and only One to please

So Long, Malaysia

I thank God for my community, FGCC Malaysia.

I am a product of community, it doesn't take miraculous event to help me be an Indra Tan, it doesn't take a wonderful activity, or complicated strategy. 

God works on me tremendously through my community.

and especially my mentors: Ko Eddy Chang, Kak Tama Pakpahan and Kak Dicky for your impacts in my life, your relentless supports, prayers, and constructive rebukes. 

Your lives influence me to be the person I am right now.

  

  

Thank you Malaysia for this 6-year experience.
It has been a great journey.

I am moving on to the next stage.

Soredewa mata!

Does It Matter?

Abraham aka Bapa Orang Beriman (the father of all who believe) is one of famous Bible VIPs you've ever heard, I believe. This post is going to discuss a little bit of his story, trust me, this is not gossiping.

Quick update, I've just finished my last papers on Tuesday, PTL!
I had crazy timetable this semester, seriously crazy and I'm crazily serious...
(Okay, it's cheesy, pardon me)
Because y'all didn't ask me what happened, so I'm not going to describe how busy it was.

Just recently, I finally got back to my long-forgotten activity: Meeting with people (people? what people?) Their questions were great, and truth be told, some were left unanswered due to my limitation of knowledge (pertanyaan2nya si Welni menyadarkan gua buat balik mendalami Alkitab lagi setelah beberapa lama vacuum).

I found many people think that the people in Bible were like "The Bible Superheroes" or something, they were born sensitive to God's voice, born as a faithful servant of God, or they lived their faithful life as God's people with minimized problems.
So they started assuming that communicating with God is limited to some people, even till this day.

No, it's not, peeps...
You can accuse people to be too spiritual compared to others, but what if I tell you that's it's a matter of perspective and expectation?
I mean, do you see God's Word as His Word so that you can know Him?
Do you expect to know Him deeper as you read the Scripture more?
Do you believe that more than you want to hear God's voice, He wants you to hear it?

"They are just too religious that's why they can speak like that"
No, they are not...
The same Bible they have, you have
The same Jesus they worship, you worship
The same seconds in a day they have, you have
Maybe they just desire more, expect more of God rather than us?
And especially, maybe they are just more obedient compared to us?

[1]

Many people can say how much they want to hear from God, but only a few of them actually do what's needed to hear from God.

You'll see, that even for some people that do hear from God, some things were not as clear as the sky you might have depicted about hearing from God.
And sometimes, to believe in God means to be prepared to do something ridiculous.
Oh, people won't always understand by the way, and you might not either.

Now, I'm bringing father Abraham back on screen...
What if I tell you that sometimes he doesn't even understand what he's doing?

"No, it's not possible, he's the father of our faith after all. He was close to God and he always heard from God"
Forget about "the father of all who believe", what about "the father who tried to kill his own son"?
Do you think he understood what he was doing when building the altar of sacrifice?

For the sake of modern illustration, I'm sorry if you think that I'm taking this story too far, let's say some people heard of it (didn't really happen though).
Seeing how it goes in this era, I would say they would start gossiping about him:
"Hey, do you hear about that old man who tried to kill his son?"
"Yeah yeah, I even heard that he was going to do it on an altar"
"For real? Anyway I don't think that son was his real son, I mean, he's old, you know"
etc etc...

And what would be the justification from Abraham?
"Well... God told me so"?? (so helpful, bro)
Some people who heard Abraham's old story partially might ask, "you mean that God who you said promised you to be a nation?"

You see, even if Abraham tried to justify his doing by saying that God didn't really mean to kill Isaac and stuffs, everything that was mentioned in Genesis 22:12, not everyone would believe or understand his story.
God knows Abraham's capability to handle His command, that's why He gave some "weird" commands to this old guy not other people.
I believe God still gives unexpected commands to His people, and that's precisely why some people including you yourself might not understand fully.

Isaiah 55:9 says:
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Abraham didn't really understand why he needed to sacrifice Isaac.

And if we were Abraham, you wouldn't, I wouldn't, we wouldn't. 

But, does it matter? God, in His mysterious ways, let Isaac live and showed His mercy and grace throughout Abraham's and Sara's life.

Abraham, while being given a promise to be a nation through Isaac, died before witnessing the fulfillment of God's promise. Does it matter?

History proved the fulfillment of God's promise anyway.

You, doing what God wants you to do while you don't really understand His intention, and some people try to talk you out of it or maybe say that you've heard wrong things.

Does it matter?

It's not like God will never give the revelation to His people, because sometimes He will, according to His will not ours. But what happen if He doesn't explain to you what He's doing through you?

And that's my question is about, does it matter?

God doesn't always make sense and He often works in ways we cannot see.

Does it matter?

You don't have to always understand, you don't have to make everybody understand either. As long as what you've heard is in harmony with the Scripture, stop giving your attention to satisfying people's doubts and start paying attention to what God wants you to do.

[1]

Pastor Steven said, "You cannot question every season of your life when you don't understand the purpose of it because God's provision are often hidden in plans we cannot understand until we get there"

"God, it is You who matters the most in my life. You can do everything, have everything in my life including my reasoning about Your ways. Teach me to abide in You, because I know that You are faithful forever and ever"


Reference

[1]                 A. Chai (2012). Cartoons for Faith [Online]. Available:
                      https://www.facebook.com/cartoonsforfaith

When It's Difficult to Hold On

Has it ever occured to you?
A period of wilderness in your life.
You walk and keep on walking, yet you don't know if you'll ever get out from it.
You hold on for so long, long enough that you start wondering why you are even here.
You pray, but it doesn't seem to change anything, neither you, nor the situation.

I don't know if you have experienced it,
some older people might say they've gone through it..
... the feeling when you lost your will to live, what's the purpose of continuing it.

I know I haven't lived long enough, and that's even scarier,
that I thought of things like this pretty early.

You often hear that the wilderness is not permanent, and you know that it's to prepare young generation of Israelites for God's promises for them.

Still, if nothing has ever happened since your first prayer here, you're goin to start to believe that it might not be preparing you for something better, you think that it's the fact of how you're gonna spend the rest of your life, that it's PERMANENT.
A life full of fights, accusations, misunderstandings, heartbreaking realities.

Oh, well, you might've tried to explain what God's called you to do to some people, and still can't be understood. And the truth is, the more you're trying, often the more you're talking yourself out of what God really wants.
You tried, and the voices and winds of accusations are getting even stronger instead.

And then, not only you lose the vision of why exactly you are doing what you are doing, but you don't understand what's on earth you have been doing ALL THIS TIME and what's left from God's promises for you, or or... what are actually the promises given to you? Did you actually hear any?

You know, this ain't a really happy state of mind or life.

You have lost the sharp edge of your life,
lost your passion,
lost your sight of God most of the time, no matter how hard you pray.
Even worse, you feel beaten up every time you wake up by the voices of chatterbox.

You prayed 'Sun Stand Still' prayers, yet the sun goes down.
You told yourself "just because your progress isn't obvious, it doesn't mean your faith is not working", and nothing worked.
You taught yourself "don't stop on 6", but your 7th day never comes.
2 years ago, I thought it was my last lap, nope
last year, I thought it was so, nay
this year, I can't even think of anything.
(I can't imagine the agony of walking in the wilderness for FORTY years, I'm like just about 1/5 way of it and feel like quitting many times)

Why, God?
I fight the battles You want me to, learn to do it in ways You love, and still I face great afflictions from the inside.
I once believed I was set apart for Your purpose, but now, it feels as if I'm set aside because of these set backs.
I don't mind walking extra miles anywhere You say, I know Your job scope often exceeds what I expect in the beginning, but I don't think I registered for these "extra courses" when I enrolled my life.
I'm okay with all those oppositions if they have purpose, but when will it stop hurting like it's hurting now? Is this a battle that's really worth fighting for? All those fights, all those sufferings, all those nights without sleep, all those prayers that seem unanswered.

For the very first time of my life, I waved a white flag to God.
That was when my Pastor prayed for me and mentioned about 'Second Wind',
to push myself one more time, as my finish line is drawing near, and it's really a shame to quit now.
With all my scepticism currently going on and on in my head, I thought,
"Pastor, that was what I told myself over and over again. So how can I believe that this time is going to be any different?"

But I didn't say that, I was afraid of missing something that God wanted to speak to me.
So I stayed silent.

If you asked me what's the purpose of this post...
Well I don't know, I'm looking for the answer too, for that question and for my questions about this journey.

Maybe, (just maybe, I don't know) God wants to teach me:
1. The true meaning of perseverance, no matter how high the tide's gonna be and how long it's gonna take, when you stand strong and believe in God, you will come out VICTORIOUS.
The Bible is full of people who stood strong even til the end.

2. The God's standardized that is often seen as hard (or harsh) preparations to prepare me for something God has prepared for me, so that I will be ready for greater blessings.
"Never doubt in the dark what God shows you in the light."

3. To fix my eyes on Jesus, "in every high and stormy gale my ANCHOR holds within the veil" that my faith won't be on what I'm doing but on what God's doing.
To show me that His promise is true no matter what, full stop.

4. To understand the true meaning of being set apart and anointed.
"To be anointed means to be singled out by God for special favours or responsibilities"

Last but not least, even the most important, it is.
5. To love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my strength and with all my mind.


For closing, I would like to write some things from the series Sticks and Stones by Pastor Steven Furtick:

I am anointed to accomplish my assignment

Just because I'm not visible doesn't mean I'm not valuable

It's the things that noone sees that produce the results that everyone wants - Craig Groeschel

I don't need a better assignment to have a greater anointing

I have nothing to prove and only One to please

Fix your eyes on Him and receive what only He can give

The Difference between Congregational Worship and a Concert

Retrieved from (thegospelcoalition.org)

John Piper, writing in 2008:

Thirteen years ago we asked: What should be the defining sound of corporate worship at Bethlehem, besides the voice of biblical preaching? 

We meant: Should it be pipe organ, piano, guitar, drums, choir, worship team, orchestra, etc. The answer we gave was “The people of Bethlehem singing.” 

Some thought: That’s not much help in deciding which instruments should be used. Perhaps not. But it is massively helpful in clarifying the meaning of those moments. 

If Bethlehem is not “singing and making melody to the Lord with [our] heart,” (Ephesians 5:19), it’s all over. We close up shop. This is no small commitment.

James K. A. Smith, writing last year, made a similar point. While there may be a few exceptions to what he says here, I think he’s exactly right with regard to the main thrust of Christian congregational worship.

1. If we, the congregation, can’t hear ourselves, it’s not worship.

Christian worship is not a concert. In a concert (a particular “form of performance”), we often expect to be overwhelmed by sound, particularly in certain styles of music. In a concert, we come to expect that weird sort of sensory deprivation that happens from sensory overload, when the pounding of the bass on our chest and the wash of music over the crowd leaves us with the rush of a certain aural vertigo. And there’s nothing wrong with concerts! It’s just that Christian worship is not a concert. Christian worship is a collective, communal, congregational practice–and the gathered sound and harmony of a congregation singing as one is integral to the practice of worship. It is a way of “performing” the reality that, in Christ, we are one body. But that requires that we actually be able to hear ourselves, and hear our sisters and brothers singing alongside us. When the amped sound of the praise band overwhelms congregational voices, we can’t hear ourselves sing–so we lose that communal aspect of the congregation and are encouraged to effectively become “private,” passive worshipers.

2. If we, the congregation, can’t sing along, it’s not worship.

In other forms of musical performance, musicians and bands will want to improvise and “be creative,” offering new renditions and exhibiting their virtuosity with all sorts of different trills and pauses and improvisations on the received tune. Again, that can be a delightful aspect of a concert, but in Christian worship it just means that we, the congregation, can’t sing along. And so your virtuosity gives rise to our passivity; your creativity simply encourages our silence. And while you may be worshiping with your creativity, the same creativity actually shuts down congregational song. 

3. If you, the praise band, are the center of attention, it’s not worship. 

I know it’s generally not your fault that we’ve put you at the front of the church. And I know you want to model worship for us to imitate. But because we’ve encouraged you to basically import forms of performance from the concert venue into the sanctuary, we might not realize that we’ve also unwittingly encouraged a sense that you are the center of attention. And when your performance becomes a display of your virtuosity—even with the best of intentions—it’s difficult to counter the temptation to make the praise band the focus of our attention. When the praise band goes into long riffs that you might intend as “offerings to God,” we the congregation become utterly passive, and because we’ve adopted habits of relating to music from the Grammys and the concert venue, we unwittingly make you the center of attention. I wonder if there might be some intentional reflection on placement (to the side? leading from behind?) and performance that might help us counter these habits we bring with us to worship.
You can read the whole thing here.

God does not show favoritism, but His love is so wide, long, high and deep that He can love you to a personal level

Untitled

I love You, God, with all my heart, all my soul and all my life.

I love...
Every time You show up, just like that, and silence all my doubts and fears,
every time You teach me Your holy and perfect way,
every time You touch my heart and see me in my most vulnerable state.

I love...
The way You correct me and encourage me to get up over and over again,
the way You teach me how to love You and Your people,
the way You do miracles in Your time.

I'm learning...
To love You according to Your way, not mine,
to obey and trust in You in the wilderness,
to love all the seasons You lead me through

I love You, the righteous and faithful God.
Your law is my desire,
Your justice I long for,
Your mercy I need,
and Your love is greater than life itself.

"My hope secure, Your promise sure, Your love endures, always"
I love You for who You are