Even Before That

I used to share to my friends that my first experience of hearing God's voice was when I asked Him about my first love, "is she the one?"
Many of you know the conclusion of this story, I got a direct, straight and bold answer: "NO!!"
It took me until this year to realize that it wasn't actually the very first time for me of hearing God's voice.

Even before that, when I was in 1st year of junior high school, I went for a teen camp called NRETC (National Reformed Evangelical Teen Convetion). During the last session, the speaker told us about voluntary offering. Somehow I felt like I needed to give my money from my wallet, I checked and found Rp 300.000. It was worth 2 months of my allowance. Then I called my mom, I said "I know our budget was kind of tight, and I didn't even walk around or went for shopping yet, but I wanted to give this money to God."
She told me to do what I wanted to do. So I just did that.
But, even before that, I told some friends about our family spiritual warfare when we were in Cirebon (2nd grade) caused by my father's colleague from Kalimantan Timur. So this person invited us to her house, she bought us many things including toys which I really liked.
Short story, those stuffs were "filled with something" and we needed to burn them all. Strangely, I was willing to 'sacrifice' all the toys to be burnt to ashes without feeling sad. I knew I did this because God told me to.

Some people receive His Words differently, but let me share my story of hearing God's voice.

1. Standing for God will trigger great opposition
I wrote this post weeks ago, however God didn't let me continue my original writing. I just couldn't put my outline all together.
"This 'opposition' part needed to be changed!", so I did some editing,
and it was until I watched Furtick's 4th part of Sticks and Stones, I knew why God didn't let me put my original thoughts, check the preview here

No matter how young or old you are, how small or big things you are doing, or who you are, you're going to face opposition if you are doing something for God.

Honestly, I don't think I'm that kind of religious guy, you know. I was born in Methodist background, being a radical person, I started to ask questions and did research about who God really is, is there really a so-called God. I did that when I was a kid, bla bla bla and Jesus just saved me.
Then I grew up, trying to know God deeper, while I failed so many times, I fell into pornography in my second year of senior high school, I got a really bad temper, I didn't control my words and some other bad stuffs.
(see? not that religious right?)

In Malaysia, a preacher from Abba Love came and confirmed my gift of prophecy, I did not know what was that (although it did sound cool to me), all I knew was that I truly believe in Jesus and many people said that I had a gift of faith, that's all.
Then, I started to learn and optimize my gift of prophecy since 2010.

Still, many people said things like "you're too religious", "you're too bold", "you're too straight", "don't be too critical in studying God's Word, because you need to apply it to your daily life"... and they came from my friends.
I was even told several times that because of my sharing of how God works in my life, someone got discouraged and lost his/her confidence in his/her faith, so I should stop doing that.

The thing is: I'm pretty sure Who called me to do what I've been doing right now, so if I really do spiritually harmful activities, let Him judge and refute me. But if I'm really called to do so, I pray that one day God would reveal these things to you, if He doesn't, that's fine either.

Nevertheless, often times greatest opposition doesn't come from your surrounding, it comes from within you.

Feeling scared of falling when you try to step out by faith
Doubting whether it is really God or just your feeling or imagination
Voices say that this thing is not gonna work
Imagination of 'what ifs' that runs wild 

Believe me, I've tried a LOT of things just to make sure that God really speaks to me
and all the time, I face great oppositions while doing what I think I heard from God (I say this because many times I'm not sure of His voice, it was full of oppositions as the result of following that voice)

2. Your first step of faith

It's not that we don't hear from God, we just don't obey what God has told us to.

What did you do when God said "no" to you?
What did you do when God said "do it" to you?
Being unable to discern God's voice, many people left it as it is and didn't do anything.

But the real question is, are you really going to stay quiet, be afraid of falling down, frozen in fear of rejection and keep waiting until this might-be-invitation-that-God-wants-us-to-embrace passes by? Or will you be willing to step out in order to find out?
Because even before that, Peter, one of Jesus' disciples did that attempt, he stepped out from the boat towards Jesus who stood on the water and believed that Jesus would catch him even when he fell.

He always will, His hands are not short, and He is able to sustain you, so take your first step of faith!
(I'm not encouraging people to do stupid things though, such as finding out whether someone is your future spouse by randomly dating your crush etc. We need wisdom, please)

3. Set yourself apart

Habakkuk 2:1
I will take my stand at my watchpost
and station myself on the tower,
and look out to see what he will say to me,
and what I will answer concerning my complaint.

Do you put yourself to a position that you can listen to God clearly?

Away from your social medias, hi-tech gadgets, news, and stuffs

Do you give your time for God to read the Bible, not only to pray and report your stuffs to Him but also to listen to His Words?

Do you set yourself apart? Fighting against your flesh, the one I called you-know-it-is-wrong-but-you-do-it-anyway?

If you haven't, start positioning yourself so that you can hear clearly from God.

It's easy to say that you want to hear from God, but it's another thing to set yourself apart.
Even before that, Matthew 5:8 said

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

(I did a deeper study on this verse, check it out if you want. Blessed are the pure in heart)

4. Times and Seasons

Up to this point, maybe some of you would say: "Hey I've done all those things you mentioned above, but none of those miraculous things have ever happened to me."
and people often said to me: "Yea, it's easy for you. Not everyone can hear from God as clearly as you do though."

We often look at the fruits, without seeing the roots

I wrote this to tell someone, I was not born super religious and holy and I'm still not one even until now.
I even doubted and asked God this question last week, "God, where are we now? Are we headed in the right direction?"
After that, there was one time when I took several minutes to answer His question: "After all these things, will you trust Me to be your Guide?"

The reason I couldn't answer it directly was because I thought: "After all these things, God?
After I offered my dreams and embraced something that You called me to, only to trade them with harsh rejection?
After I did my best to move forward and not give up, just to get kicked right on my face?
......
......"
It took me my own step of faith to reply: "Yes, Lord. No matter what has happened, what may come my way, please be my One Guide to the very end."

This is what I do or even force myself to do, when the options of ditching God's instruction, giving up our hopes and trusting yourselves are all around me: Keep pressing forward.

I admit my weakness, I admit my doubts and fears, I admit my frustration to Him, and then I press on, hoping to know Him better in each one of my journeys.

Sometimes God doesn't want to give us direction because He wants to be our Guide.
He doesn't let us know the direction we need, because He wants to teach us who He is.

Steven Furtick said: The people God uses aren't fearless, they're just faithful

I'm not saying I'm faithful, because I'm still fighting to be.

Every fight and process I've undergone with Him, brings me closer to the One who assigned me to do things trusted to me.

Not instant, but through times and seasons.

So, what's your excuse to stop hoping for God?

I hope this post might be helpful for someone, no matter what state you are in right now, believe in His timing.
You are unable to hear from God until now? Show your perseverance! Desiring to know Him deeper, longing to have encounter with Him and waiting on Him.
Because even before that, He told us in Isaiah 30:18
Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.

(ps: I do weekly fasting just for one topic, "I want to love Your Bible, teach me how to love it because this book got no picture, it's filled with complicated words, and sometimes I had headache when I read it, but I want to delight in it. Teach me, Lord".)