Jesus Told Me To

Honestly, this post was inspired by a certain event happened today between me and rambutan, so I wanted to name this post "Indra and Rambutan", but it just doesn't sound right.

2 weeks ago, my parents came to Sunway and brought me some fruits (orange, rambutan and kiwi). I think because they really concern about their malnutrition-look-like son :|

And yea, they treated me to dinner (because I had to work with morning-evening shift) of which I didn't waste my chance to have Sushi Zanmai dinner worth of 80 RM MYSELF

After some time, I just left the fruits in my refrigerator. Trying to believe that even after some weeks, these fruits will still be ok to consume (silly me, really). Then today without knowing why, I felt that I really wanted to eat rambutan, then I opened my refrigerator, but my expectation fell short. They got rotten (of course, come on man, it's been two weeks) and now I'm afraid of writing this post in Indonesian that my parents might accidentally read this post  (and understand! that's the scariest part)

The lesson was that sometimes we underestimate things too much, that we don't take them seriously until they are gone. Don't waste your chance, do what you are supposed to do right now!

Okay, that's my introduction

Yesterday I watched this sermon clip of "Jesus Told Me To" by Steven Furtick

You can watch it if you want (surely you don't wanna miss your chance, after you have read my message above) *evillaugh

Short story, it's about holding on to God's instruction, with the solid reason called "Jesus Told Me To"

I was thinking how sometimes God asks me to do "His" things in my life, that I often do willingly or unwillingly. Not that I'm that faithful to do His command, but I just can't run away from Him (and I'm pretty sure I don't want to be the second Jonah).

Even until now, I sometimes did things He asked me to do unwillingly.

Having my sense of justice or even dignity being trampled over and over again, He still asked me to do ridiculous stuffs as if He doesn't consider my feeling at all.

You know what, sometimes you felt like it's useless to do what God asked you to do.

Certainly devil would agree with my point

Why bother helping someone that rejects your help?

Why bother forgiving someone that doesn't realize their mistakes? You are the wrong one in their eyes anyway.

Why bother praying for something that seems impossible?

Why bother praying for someone who doesn't even deserve for it?

Why bother sharing your time, life and energy for someone who just sucks life out of you?

Why bother loving someone that no matter how precious it is, they can't understand it anyway?
Why bother doing God's word? You will get misunderstood anyway

You know, you'd been walking around your Jericho wall, you stretched out your staff, you struck the water, you dug many ditches in your life, you obeyed His Word. But nothing happened, don't you look stupid?

Furthermore, it's wasting energy, ain't it?

I'm unable to explain my calling to anyone else, so often times I can only answered "I don't know, God told me to."

And even now, I have this unwavering confidence that "God told me to".

Although I don't understand why He did that. I've learnt from my lesson, I wasted my 4 years circling around and around just because I was sticking to this very question of mine: Why?

I don't know what's waiting for me in the future, really, I don't know, sometimes I can see the brightness of hope in my future, sometimes I just can't see anything but dark cloud colouring my sky.

Through my daily devotion, God comforted me: "taat aja". (yes, thank You, really helpful :|)

But it didn't end like that, through the sermon I've mentioned previously, I received these messages:

"Sometimes in order to be victorious you have to be willing to do something ridiculous"

and that as long as I do what Jesus told me to do, no matter how weird it is, He will lead me to His blessings.

"Outcome is God's responsibilities, obedience is yours"

I better fail when living my faith, than not stepping out because of my own reason (ego, fear, reasonings). God's instruction might sound silly, mundane, insignificant but I don't want to miss His blessing just because I underestimate it.

"Cry if you have to cry, but just don't leave" - Steven Furtick

Don't leave God's presence, don't leave out your calling, you can feel like you lose your hope in doing His will, but just don't leave. God wants to do something in you and through you

Well, I'm not saying this with knowing what awaits for me, I'm just trusting that God is faithful and He is powerful.

Hebrew 10:36 says: For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

Yes, AFTER you've done God's will, you need to perservere. Perservere for what? I don't know (seriously), I just don't want to miss my rambutan.
Look at the devil that always says to you "why bother", answer him confidently: "Because Jesus told me to"


ps: I hope you don't get the wrong idea of excusing your mind/feeling by saying "Jesus told me to" hahaha